My fight has always been within

It just took some time to learn this.

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others” - Confucius

I spent almost all of my life looking to fight, face some confrontation, defeat an unseen bad guy, to be mindfully prepared for the worse ... to find out that compared to the challenge within me, that stuff is minimal at best. A waste of time in the food chain of conflict I truly face. Make believe.

My fight has always been within; because inside there was more fighting to be done than the outside. And with deep purpose, not ‘street’. I did that. I hurt. I got hurt. It’s stupid. Monkey dancing.

The angry, wanna be tough outside was just a disguise, an excuse for the dark truth inside.

Beating others, cutting them down, breaking their bodies or mind, is somehow considered tough?

Meanwhile the inward self is broke, hurt, angry, sedated, afraid? Thats not tough, it’s just fake. An ugly but honest reflection inward, at least it was for me. I fight that, I train for that.